Author Archives: paper0airplane

Thank You, Attacktivists, For Proving My Point

Aubrey Elle, the woman who dug up some poor woman’s phone number and started harassing her (and posted it in a group called Intactivists Stop Circumcision, calling on others to also harass the woman) via text message, wrote this lovely post proving my point.  Thank you, Aubrey Elle.  The fear is quite obvious in your post.  You attempt to hide it in sanctimony, but unfortunately you failed.

You might ask “who has time to worry about who other people, other ADULTS, are friends with?” Or maybe “who has time to dig up some poor woman’s phone because she used the word circumcision, and post it in a group to incite them to harass her?”.

Circumcision is not rape, it is not a crime, and it is not torture.  Circumcision is an unnecessary procedure, yes.  A crime? No.  If you believe it is a crime how about you call the police and let them know about the “illegal” circumcision?  It’s not a crime.  Or let them know about all the “rapes” and “torture” being perpetrated in the hospital? Still no? Yeah.  I figured.

Aubrey, disagreement is not a personal attack.  Having a different opinion doesn’t make someone a bad person. And holding these preconceived notions about someone because they want to circumcise their children just leads you to be an ineffective advocate.

People who circumcise their children love their children just as much as people who don’t.   They are either uninformed or they came to a different conclusion.  It is definitely possible to change minds.  It’s even possible to change someone’s mind if they circumcised their first.  Intactivists call them regret parents.  But the funny thing is, they attack people who have had the conversation with their adult son, and quit flagellating themselves.  The issue is a personal one, between that parent and their son.  To demand lifelong gut wrenching, depressing, even perpetual self-victimizing is counterintuative and pointless.

But back to what I was saying earlier, circumcising parents love their children just as much.  And many people can be educated and talked to and will change their minds.  However, if you use ineffective words or incorrect information…and the hyperbole that is oozing out of your post, you’ve lost more than you could have won.  It’s a bad plan.  And then to blame it on them and use that as an excuse to rage at them? It’s unhealthy to keep stoking your own rage.  I understand it’s supposed to ‘prove’ how much circumcision disgusts you, but it just damages you. And damages the cause you are supposed to hold so dear.  That rage is all ego.  It has nothing to do with ending circumcision.

So..drop the ego.  Make it an actual priority to end circumcision instead of gossiping about people in closed groups.  Come out of the shadow.  You can help end circumcision, or you can continue with your misguided attacks.  Against us.  Against other anti-circumcision advocates.  And against the parents who don’t immediately change their mind and agree (that’s lazy, by the way…to expect people to watch a YouTube video and change their mind immediately).

In the meantime, might I suggest you check out the link on my previous post?

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The Fear of the Attacktivists

Well, I’ve taken my break.  I don’t know if I am back for another round of posts, or if this will be a one-off.  But I just had to write.  My topic? Fear.

Attacktivists fear blogs like this, that point out the truth of their drama-ridden, backstabbing, paranoid advocacy.  An advocacy fueled by lies, exaggerations, false profiles, and above all NO CHALLENGES.  Nobody is allowed to question.  NOBODY is allowed to have a view that is anything but lockstep for these advocates.  Thankfully, it is not all intactivists, but a loud portion of them does demand exactly this.

The same attacktivists that post another advocates child FOR SALE on a pedo site (Sarah Cathryn for those not familiar) run in fear from anyone who challenges them.  Questions them.  Their silly little troll group is full of BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK MUST BLOCK IMMEDIATELY OH FUCK BLOCK.  Gosh, that sounds like fear, to me.  Attacktivists are scared, because their status is derived from their attacktivism.  They don’t want to change, because they get off on it.  So they fear those pushing for a change, for a better advocacy.

Sorry, attacktivists.  Your number is up.  You will change or you will become obsolete. Because too many of us are fed up with this ineffective advocacy, an advocacy that is doing nothing to change the popularity of circumcision.  An advocacy that is made up of rumor peddlers, attack junkies, violent men’s rights advocates, shamers, people with a strange obsession with child sex, gaslighters, lovers of violent language.  People are getting tired of the backroom gossip, the backstabbing, the immediate removal and blocking of those who are sick to death of the panic at a few simple names.  Kayla.  Jeni.  PENIS.  Don’t you dare mention or defend those names.  Don’t.You.DARE friend them.  Because attacktivism thinks they can control who you talk to and how you talk to them.  Not even them.  Circumcising parents, oh those evil cutters?  Attack.  Attack or you’re just as bad as the cutters.  You’re a ‘fence sitter’.

Attacktivists go after businesses, as well, if they don’t come out with statements that will alienate half or more of their customers.  Doctors are gone after over rumors.  Hospitals are attacked over rumors.  Come, attacktivists, do you really think that’s going to work?  That’s fear.  Fear because you know if you pop up in a circ debate, those of us who are tired of the bullshit will counter it.

And oh, yes, oh yes your silly little groups are being screen capped.  When you stalk people’s phone numbers and publish them in your groups, when you put doctors phone numbers, when you post your fear all over the place (BLOCK IMMEDIATELY BLOCK BLOCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK BLOCK) yes, we see it.  We see all of it.  Not because any of us have alts in those groups, nope.  It’s because there are so many people who are just fucking done with that kind of idiocy.

You fear us, not because we are attacking, bullying or doxxing you.  Not because we are spreading lies everywhere about you.  Those are things you do.  You fear us because you know you are dinosaurs, and your time is coming to an end.  It’s almost over.  Attacktivism is on it’s way out.  So how about you jump ship instead of going down with it?  Our movement is growing at an exponential rate.

Our movement is about ending circumcision, not about our egos.  Not giving carte blanche to ‘victims’ to talk to people however they want.  Not about painting a false narrative of what circumcision is and isn’t.  We don’t need those stupid tools.  Those are tools of weak and intellectually lazy advocates.  We have better tools.
This doesn’t have to be a war.  Shouldn’t be a war, in fact.
But while you’re frothing, how about you read this?  There is some good stuff in there.  Stuff that will ‘save’ babies.  But oh no, you have to humanize those awful cutters.  Well, I guess the question is the same one I’ve wondered for years now…which is more important?  Your ego?  Or ending circumcision?

There are five steps:

  1. Active Listening: Listen to their side and make them aware you’re listening.
  2. Empathy: You get an understanding of where they’re coming from and how they feel.
  3. Rapport: Empathy is what you feel. Rapport is when they feel it back. They start to trust you.
  4. Influence: Now that they trust you, you’ve earned the right to work on problem solving with them and recommend a course of action.
  5. Behavioral Change: They act. (And maybe come out with their hands up.)

The Truth About The Case Against Intactivism

I guess it took me until now to understand that people truly do not understand my position.  So I’d like to outline this with as much clarity as possible.

I am against non-religious circumcision of infant boys.  I don’t do it myself.  I want parents to know that it isn’t necessary.  That there are SOME benefits because I think that is the current scientific consensus, but there are also risks, and the benefits are only potential and may never be realized.  That’s true about the risks, as well, yes, but since there are no actualized or guaranteed benefits, only potential benefits, circumcision is unnecessary.  It can wait.  Or never be done.

Intactivism is RUINING a good cause.  What do I mean by that?  Intactivism has only gotten more extreme, and extremism is ruining the movement.  Extremism is what causes people to promote lies and phony statistics.  Extremism is WHY there is so little science regarding this issue.

Extremist intactivists don’t threaten me, or pro-circumcision people.  Nobody is running scared from you.  My blog exists to counter your bullshit because I actually am against circumcision, and people like you are ruining the movement.  No mainstream scientists bother to try to get funding for the issue or bother trying to counter your lies or butt heads with you because you are a joke.  Nobody takes you seriously.  You need to understand that.

I personally believe that parents should be educated about the truth of circumcision.  That there are small benefits, smaller risks and it is unnecessary.  Not that it’s rape or mutilation or whatever other asinine assignation you give it, but rather what the actual facts actually say.

Please, please stop doing this.  Stop making a public spectacle out of this.  Stop doing this because you are doing nothing but setting the movement and the goals back.  By years, if not decades.  Please take it seriously and stop hanging up cabbage patch dolls with hemostats on circumstraints, or painting your damn crotch red and yelling at strangers.

You want circumcision to go away?  Stop screaming at the CDC or the doctors of the AAP.  Quit using your quacks to come up with junk science and torturing bullshit out of data.  Tell your leaders to stop getting arrested, stop encouraging death threats, stop gloating about crashing jets.   Stop doing this.  It doesn’t hurt me, I’m not even your enemy.

I’m shining a light at you, as are others involved with this blog or other movements like this that have recently sprung up.  You obviously misunderstood.  Nobody is running scared.  Nobody is threatened.  Nobody takes you seriously.  Please, understand that.  Nobody takes you seriously because you don’t take this seriously.  Taking something seriously means you respect the topic and yourself enough to know what you’re talking about and tell the truth.  It means you don’t alienate people you claim to want to help.  It means you throw facts, not shit.

If you truly took this seriously, you would work hard to understand how best to accomplish your goals, not jet around the country looking in desperate need of a tampon.  You don’t hold up signs nobody understands and make a public mockery out of something serious.  You don’t come up with labels like intactocop, which prevent self-correction.  You shine that light on yourself, and fix things before they become a problem, not encourage everyone to become more and more extremist.

Take this damn topic seriously.  Stop trying to war on the internet, or perpetuate endless infighting.  You are shooting yourselves in the foot.  Quit labeling and shunning people who are trying to help you by shining a light on your bad behavior.  Stop encouraging attention-seeking behavior under the erroneous belief that any publicity is good publicity.  It’s too easy to counter the idiocy.  It’s too easy to get distracted by the bad behavior and dismiss the message.  It’s too easy because I think even you have started to lose your own thread.

Pick it up and find it again.  You have started to parody yourselves.  Learn from your mistakes and move on.  It’s long past time.


Phimosis – Guess What, You’re Wrong.

So I see it said all the time that a ‘child under 18 can’t be diagnosed with phimosis’. So at 17 years 364 days, no.  A day later, yes?
No.

What is phimosis?

What is the definition of phimosis?

  • Phimosis is the inability to retract the foreskin behind the glans in males.
  • Phimosis is usually divided into physiologic and pathologic phimosis.
  • Physiologic phimosis is the normal condition in which children are born with a tight foreskin and separation occurs during late childhood and early adolescence.
  • Pathological phimosis occurs due to infection, inflammation, or scarring and is usually found in uncircumcised adult men.

However, pathological phimosis can occur in someone of any age.  Typically, once it is explained that children can, in fact, develop pathological phimosis it’s usually waved away with some accusation of premature forcible retraction.  Since we seem to have to start at the basics, what is retraction? It is when you pull the foreskin back toward the body of the child.  You can retract safely to the point of resistance, should you need to wipe poo or some other particulate off of the outside of the child’s penis, but most children cannot be fully retracted, which is when the foreskin can be fully pulled back over the head of the penis.  This was an old standard of care which was advised to parents with uncircumcised children in the past, but the current standard of care now says to simply wipe the outside without retraction.  So why did I just say you can retract to the point of resistance?  Because lets face it, if poo can get in there, it will get in there.  Intactivists make any retraction sound akin to ripping your child’s fingernail off, but just as if they go something under the top of the nail (NOT THE NAIL BED) you could easily clean that out without harming the child.  Same concept.  However, just like you would not force the nail off the nail bed, you should not force the foreskin back.  This is also not something that needs to or should be done routinely, but only in special circumstances.  Forcibly retracting the child can, and does, cause scar tissue to develop, which can also cause…you guessed it, phimosis.  However, many parents who I’ve seen talk about their sons having phimosis never retracted them.

How can that be?  Well, pathological phimosis can be due to anything from an unknown cause (idiopathic) to infection, inflammation to forced retraction or even eczema.  Yes, I keep bringing retraction up because it is actually a cause.  But intactivists blame pretty much any issue with the intact penis on premature forcible retraction.  Regardless of the individual case.

And here’s the thing about phimosis…it doesn’t require circumcision.  Steroid creams and stretching (pulling forward AND back to the point of resistance) work the majority of the time.  The small amount of time it doesn’t work (about 15-20% of the time) then a much less invasive surgery called a preputiaplasty, or modified dorsal slit, works.  Dorsal slit also works but it creates an unappealing ‘flap’.  However, phimosis is what is put on the form when circumcising an infant, which is code word for ‘unnecessary’, I guess.  Because they’re talking about physiological phimosis, and that is the normal inability to retract the foreskin.  This normal inability is not phimosis caused by disease or inflammation.  It generally resolves by puberty, and regardless, as I said above, there is no need for circumcision to resolve it even if it was pathological.

I can’t think of a good ending for this blog, so there you have it.  Enjoy.


We Found the REAL Carole Anne

Irrefutable PROOF!

 


Intactabortioncates (Trigger)

You may be wonder what this title even means.  When I was uploading the media for our newest blogger and blog post, I couldn’t help but notice that I’d seen similar images.  So when It’s almost impossible to distinguish that extreme advocacy of violent anti-abortion advocates and the extreme advocacy of violent anti-circumcision advocates, I can’t help but feel a little disgusted.
Don’t agree with me?  Check these images out.  (TRIGGER)

Anti-Abortion

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Anti-Circumcision

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Is this the kind of advocacy you want to support?  This is not an advocacy I want to support.  I want something that uses information, not fear, not aggression, not violence, not gore.

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Why I Don’t Go With The Flow

Interestingly, you would think this blog would be a hub for parent’s choice advocates, parents who are upset about being bullied, and people looking for some information about intactivist claims.  Instead, it’s usually a hate read, or a way for certain intactivists (like Brother K, for example) to pretend to be victimized.  It’s a place to solidify outrage.  But why?  I’m not lying about anything.  The questions about Carol weren’t an attack, merely someone finally asking the questions a lot of people have quietly been asking each other (and by the way…a picture of a sandwich and a video of a male and female voice with the camera pointed at a Facebook page?? L.O.L) for awhile now. The bad behavior shown here is not photoshopped, or made up.  It’s just a light shined.  Yes it’s a one-sided story.  But a lot of the time, there really is no excuse for that bad behavior.  And it shouldn’t be excused.

This is a legitimate advocacy.  I want to see it succeed.  I know some people will say that I’m some sneaky snake or an intactocop (a word used to prevent self-correcting).  That’s because I’m not going with the flow, I’m not sitting down and shutting up, and I refuse to.  Anti-circumcision advocacy should be better than this.  Those voices shouldn’t be the overwhelming voices, shouting down the more reasonable advocates.  Read nearly any mainstream media piece about intactivism (or the comments section in any story about circumcision) and intactivists look unhinged.  Why would I want to be a part of or excuse that kind of behavior?

When an advocacy has more in common with extremist anti-abortion advocates, including threats of violence, that’s an advocacy I’m not ashamed to speak out against.  And the thing is?  That kind of advocacy isn’t the majority of anti-circumcision voices.  If I’m not highlighting your behavior, I’m not talking about you.  If you’re getting offended on behalf of someone else because they’re ‘saving babies’, you need to really consider that.  Really think about it.  Sure, it does work sometimes.  But it certainly hasn’t done much to change the numbers significantly over the last decade, which is about the point the advocacy got really aggressive.  Keep in mind, the majority of your audience is simply reading silently.  It’s only a small portion of the people that are actually reading that will be interacting with you.  How do you think most people react to people raging at them, threatening them, calling them ‘cutters’, telling them their abusing their children, raping their children, that they themselves should be mutilated and raped, and ascribing essentially every negative action by a person to them being circumcised?  Yes there is room for aggressive advocacy, but there isn’t room for it to be shouting down more moderate, information-based advocacy.

We also know that fear-based approaches don’t work.  Over-emphasizing risks and minimizing benefits (to the point that many claim there are none) is a fear-based approach. It’s also not a truthful approach.  The best evaluation of the current science is that there are few benefits, fewer risks, and it is unnecessary.  That is hard to hear when you’re being told over and over and over that circumcision is the biggest atrocity perpetuated on helpless infants, that doctors are just out for your money and don’t care about their patients, and that there’s some big conspiracy to keep circumcising infants to steal their foreskin for face creams.

Finally, there is the all-too-common anti-Semitic attacks on Jews.  Claiming that because members of the AAP taskforce were Jewish that they are biased, for example.  Well, Jews don’t proselytize.  They don’t want Goyim circumcising.  That is their covenant with their G-d.  It is an important covenant that cannot be replaced with a made up ceremony.  And yes, some very ultra-orthodox Jews engage in a practice called metzizah b’peh.  This is oral suctioning of the blood from the infants penis.  Yes I find it abhorrent.  But presenting it as a common practice in Brit Milah is bullshit.  And that doesn’t even begin to address the claim of the ‘traditional Jewish circumcision’.  Most intactivists don’t know anything at all about Judaism, but they want to tell Jews how to be Jews.

Lastly, the constant comparison to FGC.  It is done to shock, because most people know the picture painted by anti-FGM advocates instead of those who study it.  They picture a 14 year old girl thrown down and having her genitals cut out and sewn up shut, leaving only a small hole for menses and urine, for her husband to cut open when he takes her virginity.  Then the intactivists yell about how that’s not the most common type.  But that’s the reason they use the comparison, because they want to transfer that same horror onto infant circumcision in the US, which really isn’t comparable and which really is less invansive.  But yes, there are methods of FGC that are less invasive, like in Malaysia.  Yes, that is true.  And yes, people are still horrified by even that, despite it being less invasive.  Because they are trained not to think critically when it comes to FGC.  Trying to take the horror from a procedure that is, in most ways, completely incomparable to male circumcision in the US, is disingenuous.

These are my biggest issues with the advocacy.  Not the basis of the advocacy.  The attitude.  The aggression.  The parroting of information (accurate or not).  The lack of self-correction.  The lack of critical thought.  The constant confirmation bias.  The Dunning-Kruger effect. The threats.  The echo-chamber.  The refusal to converse with people who don’t agree with their tactics.  The labeling and shunning of ‘other’.  The violent language.  The willingness to lie.  The bullying.  The harassment.  Not the fact that they are against infant circumcision.

Because I am against infant circumcision.  I want it to be widespread knowledge that infant circumcision isn’t necessary.  I want people to willingly choose not to do it, not have their hand forced because advocates are impatient.  I want advocates to leave Judaism and Brit Milah alone, no matter how much they don’t agree with it (AND NO, THERE IS NO RELIGIOUS REQUIREMENT TO CUT A GIRL).  I want solid science used.  I want advocates to know how to understand the science, and how to use it effectively, not to parrot what they see on Dr. Momma.  Not to post idiotic memes.  Not to regurgitate un-sourced claims.  Not to repeat lies pulled straight out of the ass of Dr. Fleiss.  Not to rely on the well-meaning-but-erroneous math of Dan Bollinger.  Not to bully well-meaning parents or cuss out well-meaning doctors.  Not to threaten people or use violent language.

I want to see anti-circumcision advocates to use critical thinking, including critical thinking of their information and their tactics.  Because I think what they are doing now is failing to accomplish anything.  That makes me angry and sad.  I want them to succeed.  But that isn’t going to happen through fear, and anger, and lies.  Please.  You are better than this.