I’m sure that in the past months, you’ve experienced a lot of emotional upheaval. I’m sorry about that. I’m sorry about that, because I recognize your humanity. I know you experienced a recent court battle, and that making this choice is your legal right. Parents make all kinds of decisions for their children day-to-day, controlling every aspect of their lives. Of course, not circumcising him is still a valid choice that you could make. But these things can sometimes become overwhelming.
I know that you have been harassed, threatened, called names and been pushed hard. I know that because I write a blog detailing the abuses by intactivists. I also know that many of them are doing this because it hurts their heart so badly that this is happening and they can’t stop it. Recognize the humanity in them, please. I realize you’ve been left no graceful way out, and so you may feel very pressured not to back down. But I do think a valid question to ask is “does your son need this surgery?”
I do think you genuinely believe that circumcision is the better choice. But truly, Dennis, that point is four years past. Or fourteen years in the future, if it were your son’s preference. Consider the pain your child will go through. Is that pain benefiting him at this point, when he has been problem-free for four years? I know that you probably aren’t moving forward with any intent to hurt your son, but the fact that he will experience unnecessary pain is undeniable.
I want you to understand, Dennis, that if there was a medical necessity I would be firmly in your corner. I want you to know that I am very against any of the vile things I’ve seen said about you, along with the doxxing, picketing and harassment. I want you to know that I know that that makes you feel further pushed into making this decision.
But you don’t have to. You really don’t. Please consider that this may not really be the best thing for your son. There is still a way to reconsider. Because surely you are a good man, Dennis, one that is doing this without realizing what this surgery entails for a four year old. I believe that. But I think you’re making a poor decision. Your son has lived without being circumcised for four years now, without any issues- I believe that putting him through an unnecessary surgery, at this point, to be wrong. I don’t say that to join a volley of voices that are raised against you and your decision. I say that as somebody who cares, somebody who wants you to have a kind voice in your life telling you that no, you don’t have to do this.