Thank You, Attacktivists, For Proving My Point

Aubrey Elle, the woman who dug up some poor woman’s phone number and started harassing her (and posted it in a group called Intactivists Stop Circumcision, calling on others to also harass the woman) via text message, wrote this lovely post proving my point.  Thank you, Aubrey Elle.  The fear is quite obvious in your post.  You attempt to hide it in sanctimony, but unfortunately you failed.

You might ask “who has time to worry about who other people, other ADULTS, are friends with?” Or maybe “who has time to dig up some poor woman’s phone because she used the word circumcision, and post it in a group to incite them to harass her?”.

Circumcision is not rape, it is not a crime, and it is not torture.  Circumcision is an unnecessary procedure, yes.  A crime? No.  If you believe it is a crime how about you call the police and let them know about the “illegal” circumcision?  It’s not a crime.  Or let them know about all the “rapes” and “torture” being perpetrated in the hospital? Still no? Yeah.  I figured.

Aubrey, disagreement is not a personal attack.  Having a different opinion doesn’t make someone a bad person. And holding these preconceived notions about someone because they want to circumcise their children just leads you to be an ineffective advocate.

People who circumcise their children love their children just as much as people who don’t.   They are either uninformed or they came to a different conclusion.  It is definitely possible to change minds.  It’s even possible to change someone’s mind if they circumcised their first.  Intactivists call them regret parents.  But the funny thing is, they attack people who have had the conversation with their adult son, and quit flagellating themselves.  The issue is a personal one, between that parent and their son.  To demand lifelong gut wrenching, depressing, even perpetual self-victimizing is counterintuative and pointless.

But back to what I was saying earlier, circumcising parents love their children just as much.  And many people can be educated and talked to and will change their minds.  However, if you use ineffective words or incorrect information…and the hyperbole that is oozing out of your post, you’ve lost more than you could have won.  It’s a bad plan.  And then to blame it on them and use that as an excuse to rage at them? It’s unhealthy to keep stoking your own rage.  I understand it’s supposed to ‘prove’ how much circumcision disgusts you, but it just damages you. And damages the cause you are supposed to hold so dear.  That rage is all ego.  It has nothing to do with ending circumcision.

So..drop the ego.  Make it an actual priority to end circumcision instead of gossiping about people in closed groups.  Come out of the shadow.  You can help end circumcision, or you can continue with your misguided attacks.  Against us.  Against other anti-circumcision advocates.  And against the parents who don’t immediately change their mind and agree (that’s lazy, by the way…to expect people to watch a YouTube video and change their mind immediately).

In the meantime, might I suggest you check out the link on my previous post?

The Fear of the Attacktivists

Well, I’ve taken my break.  I don’t know if I am back for another round of posts, or if this will be a one-off.  But I just had to write.  My topic? Fear.

Attacktivists fear blogs like this, that point out the truth of their drama-ridden, backstabbing, paranoid advocacy.  An advocacy fueled by lies, exaggerations, false profiles, and above all NO CHALLENGES.  Nobody is allowed to question.  NOBODY is allowed to have a view that is anything but lockstep for these advocates.  Thankfully, it is not all intactivists, but a loud portion of them does demand exactly this.

The same attacktivists that post another advocates child FOR SALE on a pedo site (Sarah Cathryn for those not familiar) run in fear from anyone who challenges them.  Questions them.  Their silly little troll group is full of BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK MUST BLOCK IMMEDIATELY OH FUCK BLOCK.  Gosh, that sounds like fear, to me.  Attacktivists are scared, because their status is derived from their attacktivism.  They don’t want to change, because they get off on it.  So they fear those pushing for a change, for a better advocacy.

Sorry, attacktivists.  Your number is up.  You will change or you will become obsolete. Because too many of us are fed up with this ineffective advocacy, an advocacy that is doing nothing to change the popularity of circumcision.  An advocacy that is made up of rumor peddlers, attack junkies, violent men’s rights advocates, shamers, people with a strange obsession with child sex, gaslighters, lovers of violent language.  People are getting tired of the backroom gossip, the backstabbing, the immediate removal and blocking of those who are sick to death of the panic at a few simple names.  Kayla.  Jeni.  PENIS.  Don’t you dare mention or defend those names.  Don’t.You.DARE friend them.  Because attacktivism thinks they can control who you talk to and how you talk to them.  Not even them.  Circumcising parents, oh those evil cutters?  Attack.  Attack or you’re just as bad as the cutters.  You’re a ‘fence sitter’.

Attacktivists go after businesses, as well, if they don’t come out with statements that will alienate half or more of their customers.  Doctors are gone after over rumors.  Hospitals are attacked over rumors.  Come, attacktivists, do you really think that’s going to work?  That’s fear.  Fear because you know if you pop up in a circ debate, those of us who are tired of the bullshit will counter it.

And oh, yes, oh yes your silly little groups are being screen capped.  When you stalk people’s phone numbers and publish them in your groups, when you put doctors phone numbers, when you post your fear all over the place (BLOCK IMMEDIATELY BLOCK BLOCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK BLOCK) yes, we see it.  We see all of it.  Not because any of us have alts in those groups, nope.  It’s because there are so many people who are just fucking done with that kind of idiocy.

You fear us, not because we are attacking, bullying or doxxing you.  Not because we are spreading lies everywhere about you.  Those are things you do.  You fear us because you know you are dinosaurs, and your time is coming to an end.  It’s almost over.  Attacktivism is on it’s way out.  So how about you jump ship instead of going down with it?  Our movement is growing at an exponential rate.

Our movement is about ending circumcision, not about our egos.  Not giving carte blanche to ‘victims’ to talk to people however they want.  Not about painting a false narrative of what circumcision is and isn’t.  We don’t need those stupid tools.  Those are tools of weak and intellectually lazy advocates.  We have better tools.
This doesn’t have to be a war.  Shouldn’t be a war, in fact.
But while you’re frothing, how about you read this?  There is some good stuff in there.  Stuff that will ‘save’ babies.  But oh no, you have to humanize those awful cutters.  Well, I guess the question is the same one I’ve wondered for years now…which is more important?  Your ego?  Or ending circumcision?

There are five steps:

1. Active Listening: Listen to their side and make them aware you’re listening.
2. Empathy: You get an understanding of where they’re coming from and how they feel.
3. Rapport: Empathy is what you feel. Rapport is when they feel it back. They start to trust you.
4. Influence: Now that they trust you, you’ve earned the right to work on problem solving with them and recommend a course of action.
5. Behavioral Change: They act. (And maybe come out with their hands up.)